Today is the sixth anniversary of my hubby having a hemorrhagic stroke. A hemorrhagic stroke is when a blood vessel in your brain ruptures and you bleed uncontrollably in your brain. Only about 13% of strokes are hemorrhagic strokes (as opposed to ischemic strokes which is when a blocked artery impairs blood flow to part of the brain) but hemorrhagic strokes comprise 40% of deaths from strokes. I am exceptionally grateful that not only did he survive this awful ordeal, but today he is thriving and healthier than he has ever been before. He shares his story as frequently as possible to try to help others avoid the same (or worse) situation.
I share this story, as a cautionary tale as I see so many people living the same kind of life that he did when he had his stroke, and I would not wish this on any family. Do you see yourself or your partner in this story? Please learn through our misfortune so you don’t have to suffer on your own.
Like many stroke victims, at the time, my hubby suffered from hypertension (high blood pressure). And even though he knew he had high blood pressure and was taking medicine to manage this; he did not alter the way that he ate or drank and how he managed stress. He didn’t regularly check his blood pressure or see a medical practitioner.
Fitness was always a huge part of his life and because he was strong and trained almost every day, he assumed he was healthy.
When the stroke occurred in 2018, he became fully paralyzed on his left side, his head wobbled like a bobble-head doll, and he stopped speaking due to excruciating head pain and the heavy drugs that he was given. After a week he was released from the hospital in this state because there was nothing more that they could do for him there. He arrived home in an ambulance.
At this point, we had no idea what his recovery would look like, how far he would recover, how long it would take and what would be required. We needed full time care – nurses/caregivers 24/7, a physical therapist, and someone to cook for him since I wasn’t living here and no one we knew cooked food with no salt or sugar to bring over “extra”. We needed a hospital bed, a commode, a walker, a cane, medicine and adult diapers. Thank goodness he didn’t need occupational therapy or speech therapy as many stroke patients do.
The entire family was emotionally devastated. Imagine not knowing if your partner/sibling/child is going to die and if s/he lives, what will their quality of life be like? Imagine how terrifying this is for your own children. Seeing a parent like this and having no idea if they will recover. This is real trauma for a child.
In addition to being emotionally devastated this situation is financially draining. The cost of this ordeal was astronomical! We were fortunate to have had the funds to pay for this and grateful for the support of others. The 24/7 care is expensive and often quite ineffective and had to be micromanaged. His medications were not covered by CDAP (public health). Physio for stroke patients in the public health system is extremely limited in availability and frequency and to recover mobility after a stroke, it’s imperative to begin rehabilitation immediately and do it consistently. The longer you wait to begin the harder regaining mobility will be. If you don’t have someone who can help you understand how to begin to move, even to lift a leg or turn over in the bed, it will be extremely hard to begin to move as the pain is excruciating!
If you recover, will you be able to work? Will you be able to drive? Will you be able to play with your children? Go for a walk? There are so many questions and there are no immediate answers. They unfold over time, and you have no idea what is in store until you reach that destination.
If you’re reading this, you may have been (or know someone who has been) diagnosed with diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, or another non-communicable disease (NCDs) – also known as “lifestyle diseases”. Please listen and share – if you are just choosing not to make any other changes than just taking medicine, you’re going down a slippery slope.
I will share with you what I shared with him. Knowing that you have a condition that is lifestyle driven, meaning you can manage this condition through the way you eat, the way you move, the way you sleep, and the way you manage stress, and you choose not to make simple changes is an extremely selfish decision.
The changes are simple, but not always easy. Our lives are busy with work, child-rearing, family commitments and all else on our plates. We all have excuses as to why we’re not eating healthy, whole foods and why we are not exercising and moving throughout the day. But deep inside we know what we have to do. We just need to find the WHY to motivate us to do it. Let your family and loved ones by your WHY. Don’t make them suffer as we did. For most people, all these conditions are manageable through lifestyle changes and never need to get to this extreme.
Today, when he shares how we eat with his friends here in Trinidad and they laugh and poke fun about the healthy (and delicious) meals we eat. I feel both anger and sadness bubble up inside. Most of these people are suffering from diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity and other issues that could be managed by making simple lifestyle changes. But I hear things like “I could never imagine not eating doubles for breakfast or roti for lunch” or I’ll never give up my coke or KFC”. When you stop and listen to these comments, I hope you’ll realize how they compare with “I love my family and don’t want to do anything to hurt them”. My other “favorite” is “eating healthy is too expensive!” Trust me, it’s pay now or pay later. There are plenty of ways to eat healthy that are far less expensive than you think.
If you discovered your child was allergic to peanuts, but she loved peanut butter, would you allow her to continue eating it? Of course not! It could kill her. And this is sadly, what I see – people already down the road of illness and continuing the same behaviors that got them there.
Basic changes:
- Know your numbers: At least once a year get your biomarkers checked such as blood pressure, A1C (sugar marker for diabetes), cholesterol and other blood tests
- Read the back labels of everything you buy and pay attention to (limit) salt, sugar and trans fat
- Cut out/severely limit soda, juice and other beverages with sugar and drink more water
- Prepare most food at home – food purchased out will usually have unhealthy oils, flour, sugar and additives like MSG
- Add fresh fruits and veggies to your diet
- Add beans, lentils and peas for protein and to keep you full
- Move – walk 30 minutes at least 5 days per week and move throughout the day.
If you struggle with emotional eating and food addiction (which I think many people do) find somebody to talk to whether it’s a therapist, psychologist, a doctor, a religious leader or an organization like Overeaters Anonymous – they have free online meetings.
Include your family in these conversations and changes so you’re teaching your children good habits and helping them to be healthy. If it’s hard, reach out for help – don’t give up.
I will say it again, these changes are simple, but not always easy. But for your life and the life of your family please try to make these changes. I use our cautionary tale to let people know what can happen when you don’t take care of your body. Everything you put in your mouth either helps or hurts. We don’t want this to happen to anyone else, so know your numbers and make changes to prioritize health for you and your family. You won’t regret it.
If you’re looking for more tips, tools and support check out https://modextransformation.com/blog/